September 2nd 2025

Hello baby. This is probably the hardest time of an adoptive parents’ life. It is the fear that kills you. We never know if the Birth Parents are going to change their mind. This is something that they could do at any point before they terminate rights. It is just a very hard holding pattern. I think about you all the time. I teeter on the precipice of trying to convince myself that I do not want a baby. Then my mind screams that I want you to come live with us. It is a very hard way to live. I am having such a hard time concentrating at work. I just want to get the house ready and clean for you, but you will not be here for 3 months, so I need to chill and get the stuff that needs done, done.  Your big brother had a book I wrote in, but I think this will be so much easier because I can type much faster, and it looks so much better. Also I cannot lose this. 

Okay where to begin. Probably at when I ran into Kaziah at Hobby Lobby. Ace, Bre, and I had to go to Hobby Lobby to get something to give to Mrs. Westwood for her prize jar. I thought Hobby Lobby would have something cute, and I was right. They had these cute little silicon foods. Anywho, there was a long line and I am glad that the people in front of us were taking forever or I would have never saw Kaziah. I told your sibs to wait in line while I went and talked to her. She told me she was working at a Daycare called Kismet. She was also living at home, and is pregnant with you. I asked her if she was excited and she said yes, and she was a little nervous. I asked if she had a name and she said she does not like to pick the name out until she meets the baby. I was so happy she was having a little girl. Then I let her go, and your brother and sister were saying that she looks like Jo Jo Siwa. We left it at that. I thought she was 21, because I am very bad at remembering people’s ages. I feel like they grow up so much faster than they should. She was only 19 and Irys was only 18 at the time. When I was thinking she was 21 I was happy for her. A little nervous, but happy. 

Then we came home and got ready for Back-To-School night. We went to Wasatch first for  Grey to start 5th grade. We went to Mrs.Westwood’s class and just talked to her. Then we walked out and saw Rachel. I was telling her that I ran into Kaziah and asked her if she was excited to be a Grandma. She said that Kaziah is only 19 and she was very scared for her. I told her I had no clue she was 19, and that is so crazy. She told me that she was thinking about placing for adoption. 

Now what happened next I will blame on my cousin’s baby because I held him that weekend and he was sooooooo sweet and cuddly. It made me so baby hungry, which I have not felt for YEARS. 

I told her that if she would want to consider us we would totally be down. She told us to text her and see what happens. I then looked at you Dad and kinda widened my eyes and shrugged my shoulders. I do not remember what we talked about, but I was probably just stoked. Then we had to hurry and go get Rhett for Bre and his back to school night. We also took their friend Rydian with us. We got to the Jr. High and split up and looked at all of the classes. Then Rydain said he was going to walk home because we needed to leave for tumbling. Then I saw the dork just hanging out with his friends. He got home safe sooo…. Anywho we came home and I texted the following to Kaziah. You can see that it was at 7:53 and I talked with her mom at around 5 o clock. I was not playing around. I really wanted another baby. If she was willing to let me have you I was going to try. 

Then I nervously went to bed and tried my hardest not to think about it. 

That week was just a normal week. Getting ready to start school. Buying everyone supplies, getting haircuts, picking out first day of school outfits. The normal hustle and bustle of the week before school. The on Saturday Blink had to go get his shots. We let Ace and Bre cone with us. They had such a fun time. There was this big poster of all the dog breeds and we had fun talking about what kind of dogs we want and how fun and different they all look. Then we went to this cool park in Pleasant Grove. It has a bike pump path, a skate park, a splash pad, and a huge playground. We went out to burgers, we had such a good time. 

Monday was the first day of school and I always bawl like a little baby when they all go to school. I hate seeing my kids get older, it breaks something inside of me every time. I love seeing everyone changing and growing, but I know I am going to miss all of this someday and it makes me very emotional. This is something you will learn about me really quick. I feel things quite deeply and it brings me to tears quite often.  Anywho, I just went to work and was just living my best life. At 2 we had to meet with Rhett’s therapist. While we were there Kaziah texted me this. 

I knew in my heart that she was going to pick us after this. I don’t know why, I could just feel it. I had a hard time paying attention to the meeting after that. I was on pins and needles for quite a while. Then at  6:53 at the dinner table I got this text on my watch. 

We were eating Dad’s amazing Chinese Food and he was still working on it and I told him he had to put his plate up and follow me immediately. I was hyperventilating and needed to tell him. Your brothers and sister were so very confused. 

Well this was supposed to be updated constantly, but life is busy.

Here is your birth story:
Dad and I were very tired. It was a Tuesday. I told your siblings to keep it down and go to bed on time. Then at 2:56 my phone starts ringing. I look down and see it is Kaziah. I yell at dad and say it is Kaziah wake-up. Then I answered the phone and Kaziah said “Hey we are having a baby.” she sounded like she was in so much pain. She said “My mom is here with me and I just got to the hospital. I told her to get settled and we would go from there. We got showered and woke up all of your siblings to tell them we were leaving. Grey cried. Aubrey was confused, and was like what now!? Rhett woke upo for a second but could not keep his eyes open. We rushed to the hospital so excited.